Between naked bodies, strange sounds, and the possibility of unplanned pregnancy, sex is an inherently scary activity to partake in. Add a position with a name like “the spider,” and my arachnophobic bum is running out of the bedroom — no thank you very much. With that said, a missionary-cowgirl-doggy style rotation gets old quickly, and hot sex positions are the perfect antidote to a lackluster sex life.
Trying a new position can be scary, especially when the description of said position makes you regret quitting gymnastics in fourth grade. Are my legs really supposed to touch my nose like that diagram suggests? Am I supposed to assume that I’ll be able to stop thinking about my weight and relax while my partner holds me up against a wall?
While all of these fears are valid, most of these positions sound a lot scarier than they are in actuality. If you’re looking to woman up and try something new, why not go all the way? There are so many positions out there, and only so much time, so try something . Here are four hot sex positions that only sound scary.
Disclaimer: If you feel generally scared during sex, like, for your safety, then get yourself to a safe place away from that partner. Disclaimer number two: Whoever is in charge of naming sex positions has a really strange mind.
When I hear the word “waterfall,” I’m immediately imagining a sudden rush of liquid, which is not exactly what I (or anyone) am looking for in the bedroom. Requiring liquid only in name (though of course, lubrication is always helpful), the Waterfall has to do with the physical position you and your partner take on. You pretty much bend over backwards like a waterfall rushing out of your waist. I know, sounds terrifying.
Before you run away screaming, it’s actually not that crazy of a position to get into. It’s also a really great angle if you are trying to finally achieving that G-spot orgasm. (Aren’t we all?) First, have your partner sit on a chair or kneel on the ground and straddle them, face-to-face. Then lean back, using your hands to support yourself as necessary. From there, thrust away as your partner supports your back. Definitely a waterfall worth chasing.
Yes, your partner may have gone down on you one million times, but actually sitting on their face can be a little scary. “Am I going to lose my balance and squish/possibly suffocate my partner?” is a common fear for someone to have while hovering their lady parts over another person’s face.
That said, pure, unabashed face-sitting can be a really fun way to switch things up. Make sure you’ve recently showered, have your partner lie down facing the ceiling, and squat right over their mouth. It’s a much more direct line of access than the traditional “going down.”
The Pogo Stick
Don’t worry, this position does not involve an actual pogo stick. Standing missionary, sans wall, is terrifying for so many reasons. Is my partner going to drop me? Are they going to be overwhelmed by my weight? Here’s the thing: Ideally, your partner loves your body no matter what, and they’re not going to suddenly wonder why you feel more dense in their hands than you look in real life. While standing, your partner should lift you up and use their knees to bounce you up and down. Hold on tight.
This sounds scary, but it’s nothing compared to the eight-legged critter it’s named after. In fact, you and your partner may have accidentally “spidered” in the past while switching between positions and honestly, just getting a little lazy. The Spider is hot because you can make eye contact, but you’re still super supported. Both partners should lie on the bed, legs facing each other, and then arch back, supporting themselves with their own arms. Your legs should be spread over his lap, which allows him to enter you. Think of it as an arched-back cowgirl. You’ve got this.
From creepy crawlies to epic natural wonders to childhood toys, these sex positions are named after things that make them seem far more intimidating than they actually are. I dare you to text your partner right now and ask them if they want to “pogo stick tonight?” I guarantee you’ll scare them a little bit, and then make them really turned on. Fear is thrilling, so try something new.